PUAs do not hate women; they fear them.

The secret, I learned, was to seem like a selfish prick in the ad, and then be a fascinating, laid-back gentleman on meeting.

I suppose we were all searching for someone to teach us the moves we needed to win at life, the knightly code of conduct, the ways of the alpha male. That’s why we found each other. But a sequence of maneuvers and a system of behavior would never fix what was broken inside. Nothing would fix what was broken inside. All we could do was embrace the damage.

We had created a dangerous precedent by studying how to control social situations in clubs. It had led to a mindset that everything in life was a game that could be manipulated to a player’s advantage with the right routines.

In the forties and fifties, if you grew up in your hometown, you met people at church socials or were introduced by an aunt. But in the sixties, all these people were moving out of their parents’ homes into their own apartments in the city. They lived alone without the conventional means of meeting. So singles bars became popular. And people needed new tools to meet strangers.

I think that naturals have the psychological power to do it. Toward the end of my singlehood, I found a boldness that was shocking. I developed the courage to tell a woman after a glass of wine, “I’d like to fuck you.” There are some women looking for you to be bold and a leader. It took me a long time to learn that.

Maybe she was right. Perhaps she would have liked the real me. But she never would have had the opportunity to meet him if I hadn’t spent the last two years learning how to put my best foot forward. Without all that training, I never would have had the confidence to talk to and handle a girl like Lisa, who was a constant challenge.

The first thing you say to a woman matters very little. Some guys tell me they can’t think of anything or they need a really good line. I tell them they are thinking too much. You are not that important. I am not that important. We have never thought a thought so great that it needs to be wrapped with so much care. Give up your need for perfection.

Seduction is the art of setting the stage for two people to choose to reveal themselves to each other.

I was experiencing seducer’s paradox: The better a seducer I became, the less I loved women.

“I do not understand women,” he complained. “I mean, I know exactly what to do to attract them. But I still don’t understand them.”

— Mystery se plaint que sa copine Patricia le quitte après qu’il ait refusé de renoncer à sa situation polyamoureuse.

Description cynique et amusée de la méthode Mystery :

So every part of the pickup is designed simply to anticipate and disarm objections – at least, when we’re talking about solid game as opposed to fool’s mate.
The opener, for example, is casual. It is not perceived as a pickup attempt. You are just being a friendly stranger when you walk up and ask her and her friends, “My neighbor just bought two dogs, and she wants to name them after an eighties or nineties pop duo. Do you have any ideas?”
When you start talking to a group of people, their first concern is, “Are we going to be stuck with this guy all night? How do we get rid of him?”
So you give yourself a false time constraint. “I can only stay for a minute,” you tell them as you join their group, “because I need to get back to my friends.”
As you interact, you pay attention to the people who seem most likely to shut you out – the jealous men, the overprotective friends. You make them feel good about themselves as you challenge, tease, and neg the target.
If she interrupts you, for example, say, “Wow. Is she always like that? How do you deal with her?” If she looks shocked, you reel her back in with a light compliment. This is what I call push-pull – keeping her guessing by pushing her away and then quickly pulling her in closer.
After they’re finished giving opinions on names for the dogs (Milli and Vanilli, Hall and Oates, Dre and Snoop – I’ve heard them all), then you demonstrate value. You give the girls the best friends test or teach them something about their body language or analyze their handwriting. Then you pretend like you have to get back to your friends.
Now they don’t want you to leave. You are in. You’ve shown them that you’re the most interesting, fun person in the room. This is the hook point:
You can now relax and enjoy their company. You can listen to them, find out about their lives, and make a real connection.
In a best-case scenario, you can take the group or your target on an instant date to another bar, club, cafe, or party. Now you’re part of the group.
You may relax, tease, enjoy, and bond with your target, who is becoming attracted to you after the negging and after leading her group.
When it comes time to leave, tell the group you lost your friends and need a ride home.
This will give the woman an opportunity to be alone with you without letting her friends know she plans to sleep with you. (If the logistics are too difficult, get her number and make a plan to hang out later in the week.) When she pulls up to your house, invite her in to show her that thing you were talking about (a website, a song, a book, a movie clip, a shirt, a bowling ball, whatever). But first, give her another false time constraint:
Tell her you have to get to sleep early because you have a lot of work tomorrow. Say, “You can only come in for fifteen minutes, and then I’m going to have to kick you out.” By this point, you both may know you’re going to have sex, but you still have to play solid game so she can tell herself later that it just happened.
Show her around the house. Get her a drink. Tell her you’re dying to play her a really funny five-minute video clip. Unfortunately, the TV in your living room is broken, but there’s one in your bedroom.
Of course, there are no chairs in your bedroom, only a bed. When she sits on the bed, position yourself as far away from her as possible. Allow her to feel comfortable, perhaps even confused that you’re not hitting on her. If you touch her, pull back afterward. Continue using a combination of time constraints and push-pull to amp her attraction. Keep telling her she has to leave soon.
Then, at your leisure, tell her she smells nice. Sniff her slowly, from the bottom of her neck to just below her ear. This is when you use the evolution phase-shift routine: smell her, bite her arm, let her bite your neck, bite her neck, and then kiss. Unless she attacks you with lust, as you physically escalate continue talking to keep her mind occupied and pulling back just before she starts to get uncomfortable. You should always be the first one to object. This is called stealing her frame. The goal now is simply to arouse her without making her feel pressured, used, or uneasy.
You make out, you remove her shirt, she removes your shirt, you start to remove her bra. What’s this? She’s stopping you from going any further?
The PUAs have a name for this – last minute resistance, or LMR. Back up one or two steps, then continue. Wash, rinse, repeat. It’s not real. It’s just ASD – anti-slut defense. She doesn’t want you to think she’s easy. So you cuddle, you talk. She asks dumb questions like how many siblings you have; you answer honestly and make her feel comfortable again. Then you start from the top: You make out, then remove her bra. She lets you this time.
You suck her breasts. She arches her back. She is aroused now. She gets on top of you and starts grinding. You are hard. You are excited. You want her.
You lift her off and begin to unbutton her pants. She pulls your hand away. “You’re right, this is so bad,” you agree, breathing heavily into her ear.
“We shouldn’t be doing this.”
You make out more. You reach for the pants again. Wash, rinse, repeat.
But she still stops you. So you blow out the candles, turn on the light, turn off the music, and ruin the atmosphere. Then you grab your laptop computer and check your e-mail while she lies there confused. This is called a freeze-out. She was feeling good a moment ago, enjoying your attention, your touch, and the intimacy of the room; now you’re taking it all away.
She rolls over and starts kissing your chest, trying to reel you back in.
You put down your computer, turn off the light, and return her affection.
You reach for her pants. She stops you. She says you just met. You tell her that you understand. You turn the light on again. She asks what you’re doing. You tell her that when a woman says no, you respect that, but it just pushes a button in you that turns everything off. You are not upset.
You tell her this in a matter-of-fact voice. She rolls on top of you and whines, playfully, “No.” She wants to have sex. All she wants to know is that you’re going to call her afterward, so that she feels good about what she did – even if she doesn’t actually want to see you again. You let her know that.
You tell her, “Take off your pants.”
She does. You enjoy yourselves and give each other many orgasms over the course of the night, the morning, and perhaps even for years afterward.
One morning, she asks you how many women you’ve been with. This is the only time you’re allowed to lie.

— Chapter 3, Step 6: Create an Emotional Connection